Our life is filled with fast decisions. With lots of outside stimulation. We are bombarded by images, sounds, smells and so on. Its overwhelming. The turmoil and noise starts to seep into our mind and all of a sudden we not only have noise outside but inside as well. Our memories, thoughts, and emotions can overwhelm us just as easily as the outside world. As a result of this chaos we react. We react without a pause and any prior thought about the consequence of our reactions.
Some of the most common ways that such reactions get us in trouble is when we react in an angry way or when we develop a dysfunctional relationship with food. There are other times of course when reacting without thinking and without being present is dangerous but by far I encountered anger and overeating to be the most common negative consequence of it.
Here is a simple way we can pause before acting on our urges to give ourselves time and space to react in a way that is most beneficial and compassionate to ourselves and others.
Some of the most common ways that such reactions get us in trouble is when we react in an angry way or when we develop a dysfunctional relationship with food. There are other times of course when reacting without thinking and without being present is dangerous but by far I encountered anger and overeating to be the most common negative consequence of it.
Here is a simple way we can pause before acting on our urges to give ourselves time and space to react in a way that is most beneficial and compassionate to ourselves and others.
One prerequisite for this exercise is the intention we need to set at some point to live more mindfully. We acknowledge that what we have been doing till now no longer works and we are choosing to start to live with more awareness and compassion. Once we make this intention in our hearts we will have less resistance as we go through the following steps:
1. Stop what you are doing and take a deep breath.
2. Notice your body. Notice the temperature. The feeling of your body pressing against what it is sitting on. The pressure on the soles of your feet as you are standing. Is there pain in your body? Tension? Notice it and stay with it for a few moments.
3. Now notice the world around you with your five senses. Notice the sounds, the smells, the colors. Try to pay attention to as many things as you can think of.
4.
For anger: Ask yourself what are you really angry at? Is the situation you are presented with truly what is bothering you right now or are there other things (maybe even from a distant past) that are contributing to your feelings of anger and irritation right now? Notice your physical sensations. Is a feeling of physical discomfort making you more irritable. Notice the urge to react. Acknowledge it.
For food related episodes: Notice your body and emotions. How are you feeling? Are you angry, sad, frustrated, embarrassed? Are you tired? Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Ask yourself can something else fill this void instead of food?Notice the urge to eat (or the urge to not eat or purge). Acknowledge it.
5. Now think of consequences of acting on your urges. How do you feel afterwards? Now think of reacting in a way that is more compassionate and more mindful. How does that make you feel? How will it make you feel in the future?
6. Be compassionate to yourself. Tell your inner self thank you for the these coping skill. Over the years you have developed these skills to deal with pain, feelings of discomfort, or a difficulties. They developed because you had the instinct to protect yourself therefore they are not bad (maybe misguided but not bad). Acknowledge that every feeling, emotion, and urge has a purpose and a function. As you chose to react more mindfully remember that there is nothing wrong with you for having these urges, feelings, thoughts, or responses. Tell your inner self "its ok. You came up with the best response you could but now I think this way is better"
Its going to take time to condition yourself to react differently. As you chose to act more mindfully now you are taking a step towards a new life. This time you are not just reacting but acting with full consciousness based on what you as an adult know is true. Give yourself full credit for making this step.
1. Stop what you are doing and take a deep breath.
2. Notice your body. Notice the temperature. The feeling of your body pressing against what it is sitting on. The pressure on the soles of your feet as you are standing. Is there pain in your body? Tension? Notice it and stay with it for a few moments.
3. Now notice the world around you with your five senses. Notice the sounds, the smells, the colors. Try to pay attention to as many things as you can think of.
4.
For anger: Ask yourself what are you really angry at? Is the situation you are presented with truly what is bothering you right now or are there other things (maybe even from a distant past) that are contributing to your feelings of anger and irritation right now? Notice your physical sensations. Is a feeling of physical discomfort making you more irritable. Notice the urge to react. Acknowledge it.
For food related episodes: Notice your body and emotions. How are you feeling? Are you angry, sad, frustrated, embarrassed? Are you tired? Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Ask yourself can something else fill this void instead of food?Notice the urge to eat (or the urge to not eat or purge). Acknowledge it.
5. Now think of consequences of acting on your urges. How do you feel afterwards? Now think of reacting in a way that is more compassionate and more mindful. How does that make you feel? How will it make you feel in the future?
6. Be compassionate to yourself. Tell your inner self thank you for the these coping skill. Over the years you have developed these skills to deal with pain, feelings of discomfort, or a difficulties. They developed because you had the instinct to protect yourself therefore they are not bad (maybe misguided but not bad). Acknowledge that every feeling, emotion, and urge has a purpose and a function. As you chose to react more mindfully remember that there is nothing wrong with you for having these urges, feelings, thoughts, or responses. Tell your inner self "its ok. You came up with the best response you could but now I think this way is better"
Its going to take time to condition yourself to react differently. As you chose to act more mindfully now you are taking a step towards a new life. This time you are not just reacting but acting with full consciousness based on what you as an adult know is true. Give yourself full credit for making this step.
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